It's All About Me

Okay folks, be thankful I didn’t end up posting following the cranky pants episode below. I did consider it, but everything came out so bloody angry sounding I couldn’t do it to you all (okay, all ten of my faithful followers – the cheque is in the mail by the way).

Because my brain is temporarily down (actually I’m trying to watch Americas Next Top Model as I type) I’d thought I’d fall back on the old “ALL ABOUT ME” list.

I’m actually excited to get started on it, because well, because it’s all about me (and don’t I love that).

A good friend of mine had posted a list (all about her of course, though I wish that one was all about me too...boom boom) on her blog last year, and I found it intriguing. I probably found out more about her in that one list than I had in the five years or so I have known her. I giggled at some, nodded my head in agreement at some, and was astounded at some (I can’t believe for instance, that TomKat don’t bother her. Because Tom Cruise really does seriously bother myself)

So I give you to…..the list of me. (I’m going to limit it here to 100, because I could waffle on about myself all day if no one steps in and puts a halt to it)

1. I have been a member of every local library wherever I have lived. Due to moving frequently over the years, I now harbor a number of stolen library books as a result

2. When I was younger I used to have the nickname Olive Oil (think Popeye) due to being so skinny

3.Whenever I say my middle name, I get visions of Mr Squiggle in my head. (Miss Jane Miss Jane)

4. I have watched the movie In Her Shoes about 18 times now, and still cry each time

5.My most treasured possession is a gold plated horseshoe from my favourite mare I lost years ago

6.I’m a lapsed Catholic (or more like col-lapsed) but still believe in God and often pray

7.When I pray I hold nans rosary beads, like its some sort of direct line to heaven

8. I love music and generally go to sleep listening to it every night

9. I have two tattoos and four body piercings (six if you count the ears I guess)

10. I like the fact I look like I wouldn’t have any of the above

11. I have an ex boyfriend I call Donkey, from the Shrek Movie

12. He thinks this is a term of endearment.

13. It isn’t

14. I have been a bridesmaid five times

15. I found the last time the hardest day of my life, and I don’t know if all the words in the dictionary could ever help me explain why

16. I once tried to sponsor a child, but gave up when I learnt I couldn’t sponsor an aboriginal child

17. Clearly, I believe charity begins at home

18. Sometimes I like to antagonize mothers in the grocery line by deliberately not smiling at their children

19. Occasionally the cute ones almost make me cave in

20. Despite this, I still don’t want children on my own

21. I know I’m thought of as selfish because of this by some

22. My expectations of people are high, and I am frequently disappointed by them as a result

23. I often describe myself as a ‘free range’ dancer

24. If I ever find a man I’m happy to dance with, I think he will be the one for me

25. I have a secret love of Iris DeMents music, even if others describe her as Iris De-mented

26. I tend to be very black and white, I love or I hate, I’m down or I’m up and I have very little grey area

27. I hate to cry in public, and just hate to cry. For years my family referred to me as hard hearted Hannah because of it

28. I love to watch bad reality TV

29. I love Patsy Cline music and always request “Crazy”, even from bands or singers who will clearly have no idea what I’m talking about

30.Horses comfort me. There is something about their smell and presence I think is good for my soul

31. I’m a believer in fate. And think everything happens for a reason.

32. I have learnt something from every cracked or broken heart...except one

33. I have been described as quirky and interesting

34. I sometimes fear this is a nicer way of saying kooky and strange

35. My favorite ice cream is rum and raison

36. I only discovered in the last two years that I love olives

37. I once took fourteen mysendol in one night

38. I’m now immensely glad I woke up

39. I’m not sure I wanted to at the time

40. I’m the neatest person I know and could no more go to work with the bed unmade or the dishes undone anymore than I could fly to the moon

41. Even if the moon was a viable holiday option I still wouldn’t go there

42. Flying scares me, not the crashing. Just the fact I’m not on heaven or not on earth, I feel like I’m floating around the atmosphere and that unhinges me

43. I love summer and the heat and hate winter.

44. No I mean I really, really hate winter!

45. I prefer fords over holdens (hands down)

46. I’m possibly the worlds worst guitar player

47. I’m eternally disappointed music doesn’t come naturally to me

48. I think love makes the world go around. All kinds though, not just the romantic type

49. I don’t believe in ‘The One’

50. It would take more than this one entry to explain my reasoning behind the above though

51. I do however believe in soul mates

52. I think we get more than one soul mate, and they can come in all different forms

53. Animals rock my world and I love to have them around me

54. There may well be one thing I will die wondering about

55.I don’t believe in regrets, cause I think everything we do shapes us somehow and makes us who we are

56. I don’t like Nicole Kidman, and will never refer to her as “Our Nic”

57. I would like to point out I disliked her before she hooked up with Keith

58.Its true I will never forgive her for that, even if I never had a chance with him myself

59. My wrists are my favorite body part

60. Okay I lied, my boobs are. I think they are fine, so do others, what can I say

61. I really do like my wrists though. And my little feet

62. Unless it happened when I was a kid and I don’t recall it, I’ve never had short hair

63. I had a small freak out last year when I had a hair cut whilst drunk and realized the next day that it was above my bra strap

64. It was the first time in years it wasn’t long enough to cover my nipples when naked

65. I’m laughing at the fact my brother will be cringing when he reads the above

66. I am glad to report my hair is now once again long enough for nipple coverage

67. When I swim in the ocean I don’t like my feet touching the bottom

68. My hair is naturally ringlet type curls and I often wonder how I used to function without the hair straightener

69. I’m still scared of the dark and can’t be in complete darkness

70. I think men should have short hair and women should have long hair

71. I do find myself making exceptions for the odd offbeat dreadlocked type though

72. I find something attractive about a free spirited man with bongo drums, and a hot pair of arms to go with it

73. Daisies have been and probably always will be my favourite flower

74. I eat a lot of meat, and believe I could never be a vegetarian

75. I love reading trashy Jilly Cooper novels, especially the horsey ones

76. Little Women however is my favourite book ever

77. When I read it now I feel like I am twelve and reading it for the first time again

78. I re-write it my head these days and always have Jo and Laurie together, and firmly believe this would be a better ending

79. I believe I know the cure to hiccups

80. I love evaporated milk on my porridge in winter

81. If I had to choose anyone in the world to look like, it would be Megan Gale

82. Sometimes I feel like my nan is still around me

83. The thought comforts me

84. I’ve never smoked a cigarette

85. I still haven’t seen the Shrek Movie, only parts of it

86. I only ever paint my toenails and very rarely my fingernails

87. I prefer lipgloss over lipstick

88. I tape the CMC top 30 countdown every week

89. I dream at least twice a month my teeth are falling out

90. Dreams about snakes also frequent my sleep, they are generally large pythons hanging off me with their mouths around my feet

91. I will be embarrassed if a dream analyst finds this and tells me it represents lack of sex or something

92. Refer to above – it bloody well could be

93. I want to travel to Mexico one day, to drink tequila in the sand

94. Its important to me I see Australia first though

95. Even though I have held a licence, held down a mortgage and held down a job consistently for years, I still can’t quite believe I’m a grown up

96. I sing loudly and badly when I drive

97. I have 56 pairs of knickers and think it’s a fetish of mine

98. I’m a consistent reader of my horoscope and think I’m a typical cancerian

99. I cant believe I got to number 99 on the list and still have a stack of things I could add

100.I love to have a drink (Bet you didn’t guess that one!)

So there you go. Some tit bits (yet again, I query who penned that phrase... What the hell is a bit of a tit when it’s at home?) about yours truly to ponder over. Who knows what you are thinking, and what your impressions of me now are? I’m pretty stoked to have a legitimate hundred reasons to talk about myself though.

PS number 92 is sadly true, although at least I have now rectified the “oh my goodness I haven’t slept with someone all year situation” which I seem to do the first half of every new year (I believe men have this thought within the first hour of every new year) There are times when I am truly thankful I am on a friends with benefit deal with an ex who is normally half of Australia away and just happened to be on a visit. (Although I prefer to think of it as a random act of kindness)

Once again, apologies to my brother, maybe one of his co-workers can warn him not to not read the last paragraph :-)