The Claytons Post

This isnt a real post, its your Claytons variety. Its the post you have when you aren't having a post. Its the post you get when the writer is half cut following a boozy festive lunch and is trying desperatly hard to act sober at work.

My plan is simple, sound like I am busily tapping away on the keyboard and hard at work. My head is spinning, Im wishing more champagne would magically appear in my glass of water, and I give you this post warts and all, complete with any typos.

This afternoon (a mere three hours away) heralds the arrival of another christmas drinks event (I just decided to get in early). My office is located (MOST conveniently) opposite a pub. (I know.... someitmes the Universe just looks after me huh). Hark the drunken staff workers sing...........at times like this we love our job.

The Festive season (or the Pisstivity Season as I affectionatly call it) is my favourite time of year. Along with Melbourne Cup day (where I was drunk AND possibly very disorderly at work...as well as passing out fascinators to each staff member, even the balding ones) we seem to be able to sneak in behavior such as this without loosing our jobs.

Wishing to get a head start, a co-worker and I decided a glass of bubbles was in order to set us up nicely for 5pm drinks. This soon led to a bottle of bubbles(we are thrifty you see, works out much better financially to purchase a whole bottle) and soon led to us having a long lunch and coming back in here being startled at everyone elses sober demenour. No one seems to mind though, which is why I truly love Christmas. Not only can you wear red and green together (and not be laughed at), not only can you wear earings that flash, tinsel in your hair and antlers on your head if you so desire, but you can arrive back from lunch half cut, intent on doing nothing but annoy other staff all afternoon and no one turns a blind eye.

Yes, I truly love Christmas. Its food, its drink, its everything to excess which is how I occasionally love to live life.

I do have a serious post for you all somewhere, should I manage to locate my USB stick where I stored it last night, sadly, the USB eludes me right now, and is lost somewhere in the depths of my handbag. But like Christmas.......its coming.

Patience my friends, patience.

Now, where did I put the champagne????

Roll On, Roll On...

At the risk of sounding like a broken record (or should that be broken MP3 these days?) I'm crook again and have as a result been unable to post.

Lets try that again.........I have been really, really crook!!! Sympathy please!!!!! After much to-ing and fro-ing from Doctors and a fortune spent on ear drops, throat lozengers, antibitoics and painkillers, I am now happy to announce I am on the road to recovery. (we think anyway)

All that excitement recently regarding being in the big smoke for the week, and I got so sick I barely glanced sideways at the shops (oh alright, I did manage to drag self to Krispy Kremes a couple of times before I really went downhill). I'm still deaf in one ear though, which is only enhancing my singing ability I believe.

I must rush though, as I really hate these boring, empty posts of me complaining of being ill, of which there have been too many lately.

Heres to a healthy 2008!!! See you tommorow in the meantime :-)

What Happened to My Shoes?

Now I've told you all before I'm not very good with this whole blog thing. I'm surprised I've managed to get it this far. Some things still elude me (like how to list my favourite posts and rename all the links) and now I've gone and stuffed up my shoes as well. For anyone wondering about the shoes, I did say previously I'm an accesories girl, I thought the bright coloured shoes reflected nicely the sheer fabulousness (as we now know, fabulousness is one of my favourite words, Im working on getting it in the Macquarie Dictionary) of the ramblings on this blog.

But they seem to be dissapearing on me. Has anyone else noticed? I thought maybe it was just my PC it was doing it on (how I long for a a Mac by the way...) but as I type this I sit here in York Street Sydney at an internet Cafe, and still my shoes are dissapearing! I have reset it, reloaded it, and just can't get them back.

So excuse my shoes, if I was a horse I would be calling the farrier (blacksmith for the non horsey of you) for help. I've thrown a shoe and I'm going lame.

Now I'm about to hit post, but before I do let me explain that its Monday morning, but as Im a techno nuff nuff, I don't know how to change the time to reflect that. According to my blob its Sunday evening. Yeah, whatever.

Also, a big shout out to my brothers Co-Workers. I have heard some of them tune in daily for a fix of my intoxicating life so I wanted to say hello (and get the hell back to work!)

I'm off to go shoe shopping..........see you say, Wednesday.

The One About Pearla

I have a friend who I often refer to as the 'sunshine in my life'. Right now though, Im trying very hard to not be selfish and to wish her well as she departs the country for six months to do aid work overseas. I will be sending all my good vibes her way to travel safe and enjoy the ride, but boy am I going to miss her.

My friend Pearla is a rare gem of a girl. I would nominate her as the girl most likely....well the girl most likely to be everything really. Make me laugh, listen to me cry, do crazy things when drunk, brighten up my life all round. If I could I would send her ‘straight to the pool room’ as she is valued so highly amongst the list of people in my life who help my world go round.

Whilst it may sound corny, I feel truly blessed to have her as part of my world. She has never judged me, but has certainly guided me when I’ve needed it in her gentle way. I'm going to miss her more than the sunflowers miss the sunshine when its not there. Without her I will probably be not quite as sure which way to turn my head, and loose just a tiny bit of my bloom. I have spent some of my funniest memories laughing with her, sometimes even at her. For Pearla on wine is a joy to behold, and her nickname comes from the many pearls and gems she comes out with.

Next year will see her fufilling a dream and going overseas to do aid work. That’s just the sort of girl she is I guess. A heart bigger than all five foot of her.

I’ve been lucky in my life to find some truly beautiful, special friends, who I know instinctly will be there for all my remaining days. Without a moments hesitation, I can say she is one of them.

I’ll miss you my friend, but I hope this endevour brings you everything you wish for and already I look forward to your safe return.

I raise my glass to you :-)

Family Ties

Big Kev excitement in my little world this week, I’m off to stay with the Big T in the Big Smoke. (you can read about the Big T here http://lifesnotalwaysbeautiful.blogspot.com/2007/11/one-about-my-brother.html ) Such excitement as this small town girl hits the big shops. Sadly, work didn’t arrange my little jaunt in line with my pay days, so I won’t exactly be able to paint the town red while I’m there. More like shade in bits of it with a 2B pencil is all.

I’m not really a Sydney gal, overall I prefer the main strip of my pretty semi rural town to shop in, and often joke that I have trouble ‘crossing the bridge’. (no, not the Harbour Bridge, just the bridge that leads from my place to the rest of the world on the other side of the river). I find comfort in my local pubs (especially when they know you so well you score a free drink now and then), love to have a chat to local store owners, enjoy running into at least a few people every time I venture down the street, and since a Target Country opened at the end of the main road I rarely find a reason to venture anywhere offering more.

However, Sydney at Christmas is a sparkler.

I can’t wait to squiz at the Myer and David Jones City Store, and to wander through the QVB. I don’t actually know if I’ve ever bought anything in the Queen Vic come to think of it, but don’t I think it’s a beautiful building? And at Christmas, she just outdoes herself. So I can’t wait. (I better add seeing as work are sending me down that I intend to study hard during the day of course)

Whilst enjoying the delights of Syd-en-ey at Christmas, I will also be residing at Brother Teds, who lives pretty much in, if not quite the heart of the great city itself, then in some other major organ or blood vessel near by. We intend to drink a wine or two, waffle stories to each other and watch some sweet but obscure movies he always manages to find. (must have more patience in the video ezy than I). (edited to add........ of course he has more patience than I, I'm pretty well known for being the most impatient person in if not the world, then at least Australia)

Following this jaunt I return on the weekend for what is known as the Walker family Christmas. Now this tradition has been going on for so long I can’t actually remember a time without it. We Walkers are big into family. Big I tell you. Though we live scattered up and down the coast, we manage to keep in touch with aunts, uncles, cousins, and second cousins. No mean feat it appears according to friends who rarely see or hear from their distant relatives.

So come Saturday the family Christmas day is on. It generally involves copious amounts of food and drink, and what appears to be copious amounts of children and partners these days too. There always has to be someone to go against the trend, to buck the system, to stand alone though..........Not surprisingly, that’s always me.

I rock up single, and childless and generally empty handed. (I find it easier than buying a whole picnic for one person to just give someone some money and let me share theirs. I’m usually there for the drink factor anyway, not the food) This year the Big T happens to be flying solo too, so at least I won’t be the only one. Every year I dutifully express shock and delight at the growing children and give everyone the in a nutshell version of what I’ve been doing throughout the year. This is generally entirely fabricated to make me sound at least slightly interesting, but this year I can just hand out a blog address and tell them to knock themselves out.

We can generally count on a few things at the family Christmas day 1. That someone will get hurt (strangely, its generally the adults not the kids) 2. That at least half the attendees have overcatered (to make up for the few, like me, who undercater, or don’t cater at all – (I pack a mean cooler bag though) and that 3. Someone drinks to much. (Again, I stand out for this one too).

At some stage some well meaning relative will probably ask how I am, or “how are you really?”. Each year I consider thinking up alarming stories just to keep them happy (cause a 'fine thanks' never seems to suffice). This year I will probably invent a boyfriend, as most seem to think if someone is on the scene I really am fine. (Don't you love the way couples think singles must be just gagging for a partner???)

Often there is singing, and I also generally express envy over my younger cousins tan. I fear this year my second cousin who must now be eleven or so may have grown out of ponies, I really hope not, as she is the one kid I really look forward to sharing a conversation with, as she reminds me of the eleven year old me. (see, its all about me.....'how am I really though'?!)

We have had some memorable days over the year, at these events. Perhaps nothing quite as memorable as The Big Ts big break, when he swung wildly with the bat during a very drunken backyard cricket match and promptly smattered all the bones in his hand to smithereens. (What’s really amusing about this is that I had made him play cricket, fearing we were both too drunk for the spa just yet and needed to sober up). Anyway, with a wild miss hit he spun around, landed between bat and ground and sent us all into a panic as we realized none of us were sober enough to drive. Nabbing the possibly one sober cousin and borrowing a van, a bunch of us piled, drunk, raucous, barefoot, sunburned and overexcited into the vehicle to accompany him to the local hospital. Dr soon gave up on typing into the computer our answers to “have you had any alchohol in the last twelve hours" (the answer was long and extensive) shut up and merely trundled Brother Ted off to the plaster room. As we were all plastered (litereally) already, we found this hilarious. Twice we were asked to keep it down.

I took happy snaps on the camera phone, sister and I laughed till we cried, and brother by that time was in fairy land on a combination of painkillers and alcohol and possibly complete shock. (which made us laugh even more at the absolute gems he was coming out with)

Yes, the walker family Christmas never fails to deliver the goods. I await to see what this years brings with bated breath…….and a full esky ready to go.

Cue Violins.......

If you can please get out your violins for me it would be most appreciated. I've been strangely quite this week (there's something we don't see often) due to being sick AGAIN.

Im currently laying low (or more like lolling on the lounge and watching quality tv including the likes of Naked Wild On on E! Channel. (I particuarly love the exclamation mark on E! Channel by the way) with a middle ear infection. How I got it is beyond me, as earlier in the week I had tonsilitis coming on (possibly due to things involving candles and two ends) promptly went the Dr (hoping to nip it in the bud) and took double the prescribed amount of antibitoics for two days. Tonsils have gone down (hooray) but my ear drum is apparently the colour of a tomato. (or Sheila my garden gnomes hat). So I'm a sad and miserable site at the moment, can barely hear a thing and my entire head echos each time I try to talk. (co-workers are probably enjoying this, as its really kept me quiet for once)

Even more alarming is the fact I just knocked back the 5pm offer of a glass of bubbly. Crikey! I am crook!!!!!!

As Im in pain, on both pain killers, antibiotic tablets and antibitoical ear drops and feeling more than a little fragile, I daren't have a drink this evening (oh alright, not in public anyway) for fear of turning into a sniffling sorry mess full of 'woe is me'. (I'll save that for later and no doubt tell you about it tommorow).

So here is a quick post for those wondering where the hell the crazy chick has gotten too for the last few days. (pretty sure some were beginning to think the christmas party was going to knock me out till next year - but can't keep a good women down obviously)

Anyway folks.........must run. Time for me to depart work (I had missed enough and thought I better make an appearance today to check my position was still open) and head back to prime viewing position on the lounge. I note with excitement the new series of Americas Next Top Model has also begun, so must watch the recording of it tonight and give you all a recap on the moles this year. And of course Tyras outfits.

I'll leave you wating, breathless with anticipation........

Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

I'd love to update you and post a new blog today, but I'm just not capable. (Not capable of anything near decent anyway)

I'm currently in recovery from the staff Christmas Party and busy trying to revive the brain cells that seem to have been either killed off, or are in a comotose state and not yet ready to fire again following the great event.

Here is the photographic evidence of my demise, and as this second shot was taken a good four hours prior to the end of the night, you may understand why today we have no witty or thought provoking entry for you.

We went from this...

To this.........

All within a very short time frame.

I blame champagne, I blame lack of sleep, I blame the staff that kept refilling my glass, I blame everyone but myself really.

So agh, yes. Stay tuned..............