Life

I haven’t posted here for so long that it seems cruelly ironic that the last entry was so happy. In a strange twist of fate, this post is only being typed because a part of me is so sad right now that I felt the need to put words on paper to get them outside of my head.

I’m not sad for me, but I’m hurting for a friend and feeling powerless to assist her. What do you say to someone who is losing her mother, who is watching her fade away before her eyes? How can you ease the pain of someone going through that? You just can’t really can you.

Funny how when you hear news like that everything else that seemed to be taking up space in your mind seems so irrelevant you’re almost embarrassed for thinking it was even important. Those extra kilos I’ve put on I’ve been lamenting for instance... who cares? That headache that keeps bugging me? Whatever. The problems that I thought I had; that in reality possibly exist only in my mind? Forgotten.

I’m disappointed it has taken such news to shock me to this state. And I’m sad, so, so devastated for my friend that words, which usually come so easily to me….just can’t seem to form into a sentence that would assist her in any way.

All I can think tonight is how the things that really matter are so basic that half the time you don't even recognise them for that they are.

I can guarantee that at the end of our time on earth, it’s not the petty arguments, the work dramas or the extra kilos we are carrying that will occupy our thoughts. We won’t leave this place for the next thinking “wish I had spent more time worrying about that”.

We won’t wish we had worked harder, achieved a flasher car or a more sculpted body. We’ll be wishing we had just one more day with our family, that we had said “I love you” more than we had, that we had spent more time gardening in the sunshine, giggling with children, or more time laughing with friends and less time worrying about the housework.

So I’m counting my blessings tonight, cause dam it…. I suppose I’ve got it good and maybe I didn’t really know, really truly know it I mean, until now. My car goes, my bills are paid, but more importantly I am surrounded by people that love me. My partner, my friends, and my family. They are all there whenever I need them, and it’s making me cry right now as I type, to think that soon my friend will be one person less in her world. And that the person who has to leave is one of the most important people in the world to her, her mum.

My friend is a wonderful person….she is easily one of the most genuine, thoughtful and loyal people I have met. In the past when I have been down she has always know just what to say to me. I once opened my mail out of the blue to find gifts from her she had bought for me just because I had been feeling down and she wanted to make me smile.

Her mother must be so immensely proud of raising such a girl.

Life just doesn’t make sense some times.